A Letter To 14 Year Old Me
It's bigger Olivia. You probably can't imagine me, but I'm 24. Seems really old to you now, but when you get here, you still don't really feel any older. You've seen and done more things, but you still feel pretty much the same. You're living in England now, and you have been for 6 years. Not what you imagined for yourself, is it? I know if I told you that now, you'd say you could never live so far away from Mama and Papa. You do struggle with that, but most of the time it's ok because mobile phones have come a really long way now. It's free to text people! You won't need to worry about running out of credit anymore.
That boyfriend you have right now is really nice. You're going to learn what it feels like to be in love for the first time, and you think you're going to feel that way forever. You won't, but that's ok. Things change, he leaves, and you get very sad for a little while. But time heals all, it gets better and you're still friends now.
You'll meet a new boy a few months after breaking up with him, and you'll embark on a new relationship. This one will be very different to your first. It will be nice for a while, but things will begin to change quite quickly. You'll struggle with it a lot, feel very confused and alone, very scared, and like you can't tell anyone how you're feeling. It goes on for a long time, and it's probably the hardest time of your life. But you get through that too. One day you'll finally find the courage to leave him, and never look back. The pain of those years will make you stronger, and you'll learn so much more about yourself.
You've got a new boyfriend now, and he's perfect. He's a few years older than you, and he's really kind to you. He's exactly what you've been looking for in someone, so know this: alls well that ends well. You live in a beautiful apartment, and you can't believe your luck every time you get home. You also live by the sea! And you know those mountains you currently find so boring? Yeah, you'll really miss them now, but you'll also appreciate them so much more when you're around them.
You've also got loads of new friends. They're good ones too. None of them make you feel bad about yourself, and they're not bitchy like some of the girls in school can be. Please try to ignore those horrible girls (and stick to the good ones) - you know who's good for you deep down, so trust yourself. When you finally do leave school, you'll never see those mean girls again and they won't matter. And don't worry too much about fitting in. You'll learn to accept who you are by the time you're my age, and learn to love what you do. Being bad at maths, or finding science classes boring/hard won't matter anymore.
I know you worry that you have no idea what you want to do with your life. That's ok. Focus on horses and looking at pictures in magazines. Enjoy those things you love. Enjoy your horse. You don't know it yet, but all those pictures you love so much will lead you down your perfect career path. You might not believe me, but you're a photographer now. All those photos in magazines you love so much? You're now the one taking them. You're not perfect yet, you still have a lot to learn, but you're on the right track. Would you believe me when I tell you that you're the owner of two businesses? You'll make a friend online who you really connect with, and during one summer, you'll get creative together and start a magazine of your own. You definitely don't believe me now, but I promise that you do. You even manage to get it sold all around the world, and read by thousands of people! Pretty cool, right?
So there you have it. There's so much for you to look forward to, and so much for you to learn still. Enjoy being a teenager.
Oh, and don't worry about those spots. I know Mama always tells you that they'll go away when you're older and that you don't believe her... but they do!
24 year old Olivia
This post was 100% inspired by my beautiful friend Steph. Read her letter to herself here!